Planning a proposal? Here are seven ways to find your partner's ring size secretly — plus what to do if you get it wrong.
You've decided to propose. You've probably thought about where, when and how. But there's one practical problem that trips up almost everyone: you need to know what size ring to buy, and you can't exactly ask.
The good news is that you don't need a perfect measurement. You need to get close enough — and at Jordans, Sandy can resize most rings after the proposal if you're a half-size out. So take the pressure off yourself. Here are seven ways to get it right (or close to right) without giving the game away.
1. Borrow a ring they already wear
This is the most reliable method, and the simplest if you can pull it off.
Find a ring your partner wears regularly — ideally on the same hand, ideally on the ring finger. If they don't wear one on that finger, a ring from the middle finger will be close, but expect to go down about one size.
Take it for a day. Bring it into a jeweller (we'll measure it for free and hand it straight back), or press it into a bar of soap or a piece of Blu Tack and measure the impression across the inside with a ruler. That gives you the inside diameter in millimetres, which any jeweller can convert to a UK letter size.
What to watch for: Don't use a ring they wear on their index finger or thumb — those are significantly larger.
2. Trace the inside of a ring onto paper
If you can't take the ring out of the house, lay it flat on a piece of paper and trace around the inside of the band with a fine pen. Bring the paper in — Sandy can measure the circle and work out the size.
This is less precise than bringing the ring itself, but it's usually accurate to within half a size, which is enough to work with.
3. Use a piece of string while they're asleep
This one sounds ridiculous. It works more often than you'd expect.
While your partner is sleeping, wrap a piece of string (not stretchy thread — cotton or dental floss) loosely around their ring finger. Mark where the string meets itself. Lay it flat against a ruler and measure the length in millimetres. That's the circumference.
A rough guide to UK sizes from circumference:
- 49mm — size J
- 51mm — size K
- 52.5mm — size L½
- 54.5mm — size N
- 56.5mm — size P
- 59mm — size R
- 61.5mm — size T
Be honest with yourself: if they're a light sleeper, skip this one. A failed attempt is very hard to explain.
4. Ask their friends or family
Someone close to them may already know. A best friend, a sister, a mum — anyone who's been dragged into a jewellery shop with them before. People talk about ring sizes more often than you'd think, especially if they've been bridesmaids or bought each other jewellery.
Keep your circle as small as possible. The more people who know, the harder the secret is to keep.
5. Try on their rings yourself
If your partner leaves rings on the bedside table or by the sink, try one on your own finger. Note which finger it fits — your little finger, your ring finger, halfway down your pinky. Then come into the shop and show Sandy which finger it reached on your hand. She can work backwards from there.
Not scientific. But surprisingly effective, and completely risk-free.
6. Compare to your own fingers
Hold your partner's hand. Pay attention to how their ring finger compares to yours. Is it noticeably thinner, about the same, or wider? This won't give you a letter size, but it gives Sandy a useful starting point when combined with any other clue you've got.
7. Just guess — and plan for a resize
Here's something most people don't realise: getting it slightly wrong is completely normal, and it's an easy fix.
The most common UK ring size for women is M. For men, it's S. If you have absolutely nothing to go on, those are reasonable starting points. Sandy can resize most rings after the proposal — it usually takes a few days and the cost is modest.
The one exception: some very intricate vintage or antique rings can't be resized without affecting the design. If you're looking at a detailed antique piece, mention this when you're choosing — Sandy will tell you honestly whether it can be adjusted.
A few things that don't work
The shoe-size trick. There is no reliable correlation between shoe size and ring size. It circulates online, but it's not real. Don't use it.
Measuring while their hand is cold. Fingers shrink noticeably in cold weather — a winter measurement can be a full size smaller than the truth. Warm hands give a more accurate reading.
Wrapping too tightly. If you're using string, it should sit snugly but not squeeze. A measurement taken too tightly will give you a ring that won't clear the knuckle.
What if you'd rather not guess at all?
Some couples prefer to choose the ring together after the proposal. You can propose with a placeholder — a simple band, a family ring, or even an empty box — and then visit a jeweller as a couple to pick the real ring.
At Jordans, Sandy can size you both in the same visit, and you can try rings on together until you find the right one. There is absolutely no pressure to buy on the day, and no judgement about how you got to that point. Some of the best engagement stories we've seen started with "I proposed with a Haribo ring."
Book a ring consultation
If you'd like to come in and look at engagement rings — or just get your partner's borrowed ring measured — Sandy is available Wednesday to Saturday, 9:30am to 4:30pm. Saturday appointments are available.
Or call 01305 250413 if you'd prefer to chat first. Everything is kept completely confidential — obviously.
Jordans Jewellers 29 South Street, Dorchester, Dorset, DT1 1BY
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